Can you Imagine something better?

Sometimes it's hard to imagine something BETTER when you've never experienced it....
This is THE huge reason why we allow ourselves to settle in life. 

In the past, when I dared to dream bigger, I would get overwhelmed with fearful thoughts of disappointment and being unappreciative; mostly the fear that better doesn't exist and/or that I would end up in a worse situation then what I was already experiencing.  Those are VERY powerful thoughts, and NOT in a good way.  They hold us back and keep us stuck and continuously disappointed. 

Truth is...we CAN have it as good as we want if we are not willing to settle.  If we put all of our time and effort into imaging and pursuing our ideal situation, we will be able to recognize it when we see it, feel it, have it!  

I could have never in a million years have imagined my life the way that it is now, back when I was too busy settling for my then current situation.  My whole life, relationship, career and whole mental outlook on life have changed completely, and it all started the day I decided to take a chance and dream bigger.

It all comes down to that one word... DECIDE. Decide to no longer settle.  Decide to be open and available to the relationship of your dreams.  Decide to start on a path to changing your career, or maybe your whole outlook on life.  The decision is yours...

What new decision will you make to stop settling???

You may just find the passion in life you've always been looking for.... 

Expanding your Imagination

When I first started attempting to utilize visualization, I'll admit I was not at all good at it.  In fact, I had pretty much decided that I wasn't able to do it!  Hearing people talk about using your third eye to imagine this or that frustrated me to no end.  How people were "seeing" thing with their eyes open, other than what was right in front of them, really confused me?! I had no idea ...but after talking with my best friend (who is a pro at visualization) I became determined to figure it out.  One day she gave me the biggest hint as to How to begin teaching myself the art of using my imagination, and I thought I would share that with you all today! Picturing what I knew...

First, picture something you know and see everyday, like your bedroom.  It might help to begin your visualization with your eyes closed.  From wherever you are, see your bedroom in as much detail as possible.  Imagine the room size, your furniture, the decorations on your walls and furniture.  Then expand into the other senses...what does your room feel like? What emotions come up when you picture your room? Also, what does it feel like when you touch things, your bedding, the flooring, the walls? How does it smell? Adding the other senses allows you to make what you're imagining more vivid and "real".   
 
Don't get frustrated if you can't see all the details at first. When I first started huge portions of what I was visualizing were cloudy or "grayed-out".  As I practiced more, the "fog" began to clear and I could see my room in more and more detail.  I also found that it helped to switch up what I was trying to visualize...the inside of my car, my kitchen...at first I kept to things in my present that I see everyday.  

Once I was getting good at visualizing with my eyes closed, I expanded my practice by starting to open my eyes and keep the image of my room in my "mind's eye".  You know how you can stare out into "space", not really seeing what you're looking at, because you're lost in thought? This is the same thing you can do with your images.  Find a calm spot that is not moving and quiet at which to stare while you focus on your mind on the image of your room.   Go through the same process of allowing yourself to practice "focusing" your sight.  Eventually you'll be able to do this no matter what is happening in your environment.

I then started trying to picture places from my past in the same way, first with my eyes closed, and then with them open.  You're tapping into your memory, but your imagination fills in the gaps of things you don't specifically remember. You can then start to focus on people or pets that are moving and living ... (and don't forget to add in all your senses!)

Once  you get good at "remembering"... start making changes.  Go back into your bedroom, change the wall color, change your bedding, move the furniture around and visualize what this will look like.  

Now you're ready to visualize your future!  What would you like your ideal bedroom to look like? Bigger? Smaller? What kind of window would you like? What colors? What lights? What furniture would you have and where would it be? Create in your mind the perfect bedroom and then focus on how you would feel in that amazing room! 

You can use this to create anything in your future...a great relationship, a new job, whatever it is you'd like in your future!  Using your imagination is a great way to transport yourself into the energy of already having what it is you desire! It serves to motivate and clarify you on your goals. When you imagine how you'll feel, it further clarifies by allowing you to decided if what you're visualizing is actually creating the desired emotional responses.  If not, change a few things you might think will make you feel better... 

This takes time and effort, but once you get the hang of it, it can be VERY fun to see what you've visualized actually come to you in real life!  When you've already imagined it, you'll be able to immediately recognize it when you encounter it in your present!

Now go get lost in your imagination!!! 

The Guilt Spreading Culprit

We spend our lives completely focused on, and obsessed with, the thoughts and feelings of others in relation to ourselves.  We give them all of our power by needing and wanting their approval and acceptance. We believe we just KNOW what they must be thinking and feeling, and therefore spend our whole lives behaving in a way we think they will find acceptable.  We spend hours, and sometimes sleepless nights, trying to determine what they're thinking, and how to respond.  Truth is, most of the time, we have NO idea what people are actually thinking...  We decide what they're thinking and then get angry, stressed, bitter, resentful, hurt, guilty and all of the other potential emotions that THEY'VE caused US!  Well, how dare they! 

In actuality, all of the emotions that come from our reactions to other people, don't ever tell us about the reality of the other person.  Our reactions can only serve to help us learn about and understand Ourselves!  How we react reflects our own feelings about ourselves right back to us.  We place blame on someone making us feel guilty, for example, when really it's You telling Yourself you SHOULD feel guilty...sometimes our beliefs agree with the idea we should feel guilty, and sometimes we are fighting this belief.  So for instance, we might get angry when we feel guilty because on a subconscious level we think we SHOULD feel guilty, but on a conscious level we don't agree, and therefore, it stirs up all kinds of emotions and confused feelings.  The conscious thought of disagreement makes us place the fault of our guilty emotions on the other person, when it was not really coming from them in the first place.  For this reason, one person can experience the same wrath of the "guilt spreading culprit" by taking on the guilt, and another person, without the subconscious expectation of guilt, would not feel one bit of guilt after the interaction.  

We're driven by our subconscious "programming", but once we realize that all of the people in our lives are placed there to help teach us what that programming is, we can look at them in an entirely different way!! People no longer have to be the Source of our frustrations or happiness, they are simply the KEY to self-understanding.  Every time we react emotionally to a person, we can choose to use the key and open the door to self-understanding information to which we previously had no access. This CHOICE of going within to figure out the source of our emotions is the key to changing them.  Not only will relationships improve, but what was subconscious becomes conscious and therefore no longer has any power over us!  What we become aware of, we can then change....change our belief, our perception, our situation or whatever is appropriate!  Sometimes it just helps us to love and accept ourselves more.  

So next time someone in your life "causes" you to react emotionally, take a step back, thank them for being your key, unlock the door and walk through it!! What you learn will always be invaluable <3

My Inspiration

3 years ago, when I decided to REALLY start my conscious soul searching journey (because I was absolutely lost), I began to keep a journal.  After about a week or so I decided to do a connection to spirit ritual, asking for my spirit to speak to me and guide me to recognize my purpose and desires for my life.  This ritual ended with my going out on my screened in balcony and writing in my journal....below is the poem that came out.  As the years pass, I connect with and understand these words more and more....it is absolutely my goal, my vision and my inspiration!

LIVE LIKE A TREE

 I want to be able to truly go with the flow…like the branches of a tree…without stress or worry.

If the pressure becomes too much, I shed a limb and continue to grow.

I want to be a source of life, shelter, and food to other living creatures.

With each grateful bird that takes shelter in my branches, or squirrel in my trunk, I grow my roots deeper to help myself support them.

I accept nourishment from the earth and stars, and take only what I need to Thrive.

I’m strong and flexible at the same time.

When the world gives me cold and darkness, I keep the light and warmth within to protect my ability to grow, understanding that when it’s time I will once again flourish.

I can soar to great heights while being securely attached to the ground.

When ground conditions deteriorate, my roots move to more sustaining ground.

I drop little seeds on those that walk beneath me, so a little piece of me grows near and far.

I support others while they need me, and I am happy when they regain their strength to move on.

I am content as they go because I’m not attached but to the earth.

If my life on this earth ends, I know that life will sustain and re-grow from the ashes I leave behind.

I want to live my life like a tree….

Jessie Lavery 2012

Technical Difficulties...

I'm back!!!

So since January my computer has been giving me lots and lots of stubborn issues but all is thankfully and gratefully figured out now! Wahoo!!  I swear, every time I have the intention of being very consistent about writing, something like this occurs and I'm really hoping that I've been able to work through it, "technically" and "energetically" so I can start to write my heart out!  

I've been going through a transition which I'm really starting to get a handle on now.  I'm getting certified to be a Personal Life Coach in addition to practicing ThetaHealing, which I'm SOOO excited about!  I will now have the tool, techniques and processes to help people really start to take ACTION on their goals and dreams.  

I've found that life can't really become what we dream of unless we figure out what that dream looks like! Theta can't help people know what they want or what will make them happy...but once those goals are identified, Theta can help to inspire change exponentially faster and we be SO much more effective.  Can you tell I'm stoked about this?!!

So in addition to my studies, I'm going to be working on packaging and all the goodies and services that I'll be offering to my clients to help them soar!! My calling and passion in life is truly being the support for others to achieve even more than they could have dreamed!  I want to be constantly celebrating the strides and successes that the people in my life make, and it won't be long before I've formally "launched" all the new programs and offerings!  

There is such a lesson in this....as I get clear on what I WANT to give... all the problems standing in my way seems to get settled and cleared as well.  The fog is lifting and it's coming into view....

What is it you need to get clear on right now???

What's it take to follow your dreams?

Do you know what it takes to follow your dreams?

 COURAGE!!

Think about it...If it were easy, everyone would do it!! Just because it's not easy, doesn't mean it wouldn't be the most amazing experience of your life! There were many things that I didn't do because in some way, shape or form I was scared. Scared because it's not what the world taught me to do! Maybe I won't be good at it? Maybe I won't be able to support myself doing it? And the BIG one, I don't KNOW HOW to do it!! .... One day I just had to release my fears and take a baby step forward!  The thing I learned is that baby steps aren't that scary at all!  It's a small commitment that can create more HOPE and JOY in your life then you can imagine!! It's saying YES to your spirit, the you in side of you that's just desperate for inspiration!!

I'm laughing to myself right now thinking of the movie What About Bob? with Bill Murray, have you seen it? He plays a germ-a-phobe "shut-in" who's a very needy, pretty helpless, and extremely annoying client to his poor therapist.  He's directed to practice "baby steps" to do just about anything... "Baby steps to the car", "baby steps to the sidewalk", "baby steps to open the door"...and to watch him, he seems ridiculous (especially because he says it all to himself out loud)! hehe  I think this vision is coming into my head so strongly right now because in actuality we ALL have things we want in this world that we have a hard time doing or pursuing!  We ALL have a few Bob tendencies, and that's why we continue doing what we're doing even if we're not happy, the safe option, because our FEARS have the control over us instead of the other way around.  And fear can also be cleverly disguised as "being realistic"...we all have bills to pay, it is the reality of this world, but telling yourself that you cannot pay your bills by pursuing your dreams, that's not realistic, that's just putting a limit on yourself that doesn't need to be there. Think outside the box! As a matter of fact, maybe you have to get rid of the box altogether! Okay...Let's just start by saying "Maybe you CAN...." (Baby step, wink wink)

So think of it this way....if you're not pursuing a dream, then you're living FOR your fears and not yourself!  Is that what you want?  Is there something you can take a "baby step" towards right now!  The most important part of dreaming is taking one little itsy-bitsy teeny-weeny BABY step! 

If Bob can do it, so can you!! <3

On a lighter note!!

I wanted to follow up on my last blog post, which is admittedly a SUPER downer :-) , by letting you all in on my amazing life that's only getting better! 

So since that point, with lots of courage, getting to know myself, and faith in my dreams coming true, I've changed my life completely!  

Right now my "work" is being a Theta Healing Practitioner and Life Coach.  I get to help people be their truest selves and have their lives reflect their truths, to find their happiness!  It doesn't feel even one moment like work.  It is my passion...in fact when I'm "working" I really feel like I'm just talking to my friends and helping them feel better.  I always loved doing that anyway...it was my favorite thing to do in my "old life".  

I get to set my own schedule. 
I can help people on phone or Skype so I don't have to be home or in an office to do it.
I am absolutely free to move about the country, or the world, whenever I want!!
I have an amazing relationship with a guy that seems made for me... I can be ME, genuinely, authentically and sincerely and he supports me completely.  Our lives fit together perfectly as his passion takes him around the country ...and I get to go with!! 
We can wake up late and stay up late....
I feel Free...like my life is wholly mine.  I don't answer to anyone and I do only what I love!  
I have plenty of free time. 
I can live where ever I choose! I don't have to fight any traffic if I don't want to...
My vocabulary doesn't include the words Should or Have to any longer. 
I feel refreshed, rested and inspired each day....like I'm making a TRUE difference!
My heart feels open and full...when I think about my life now, I SMILE :-)

If you would have told me 8 years ago that this would be my life, I wouldn't have believed it was even remotely possible!   My current goal is to dream bigger and better!! Now, it's like my life is actually perfectly tailored to me and what I enjoy, and I'm certain it can be even better...My 2015 is all about wanting even more and watching it happen!! So excited...I can feel wonderful things coming my way! Can you tell how frickin excited I am?! Hehe

Your life too can be designed by you...you just have to dare to dream and be open to hearing your hearts desires!!  I can help!! <3
 

Sound familiar?

I FELT TRAPPED...
MISERABLE...
FRUSTRATED...
CONFUSED...
COMPLETELY AND UTTERLY STUCK!

Oh don't get me wrong, I didn't let anyone know how I was feeling.  In fact, I think most of the time I did a pretty good job of keeping this from myself! It was 2007, and I had a plan.... Suffer now, sacrifice myself and do all these "necessary" things that make me completely unhappy, and then eventually, one day, when I've achieved all my goals, I'll be happy!  

I had an excuse for every single decision I'd ever made and why it was necessary to keep going in the same direction, why I couldn't change my mind.  My constant inner dialogue told me over and over the very terrifying reasons why I couldn't change my life. I'd be a failure, I'd be abandoned, I'd lose everything...I HAVE NO CHOICE but to be a victim and keep going. 

At that point, the world seemed so unfair...I'd done everything right!  And by everything, I mean everything that the world tells you that will make you happy....Get your education, get a good job, save your money, have insurance, take calculated business risks, pick a man and sacrifice to make it work, invest in your future and retirement, trade your time to get paid so you can eventually have everything you've ever wanted.

I was doing all of these things, and so unfairly, the world kept knocking me down!  But I didn't give up!  It was just a lesson and I was getting smarter, right?!  If something didn't work as it was "supposed to", I doubted myself.  I must have not done it right.  I  must not have done my "homework" enough and I would get it next time. I must not be worthy of getting that new job or that raise.   These messages from the "powers that be", all the other people in the world, can't possibly be wrong! It must be me... 

I was convinced my failures were deserved, and despite my best efforts to turn things around, things seemed to get worse. I was exhausted all the time.  I had lost all enjoyment in life. My frustration came out as all I took to constantly complaining about my situation.  Talking about it made me feel slightly better, acknowledging my discontent, expressing my feelings, but in the end I was scared to make any REAL change. 

This was my life...and everyday I put on a happy face, an air of success and a determination to make something of myself.  Fake it til you make it, right?!! But that doesn't work if everything in your heart tells you there's just SOMETHING not right!!  It was all a sacrifice because MY HEART WAS NEVER IN IT!  

Does any of this sound familiar?  Does even just a little bit of it resonate with you? Is fear, obligation and expectation running your life too?  If this is you.....it is absolutely possible to CHANGE EVERYTHING!!! 

Don't lose hope...your new life can start today regardless of your fears!  

Stay tuned every week as I plan to tell my story and help everyone I can to gain the peace and freedom I've created in my life.  We ALL can do it...and you deserve it!!