Being single again makes me think about a lot of things. Pondering getting into a new relationship makes me think about even more. In all of my thinking, analyzing, pondering, and evaluating, out loud of course, a friend offered up a CD conference by Alison Armstrong. This has pretty much blown my mind so I'm attaching a link to her website and the specific CD's that I've listened to Twice now.
http://www.understandmen.com/products/insync.html
She goes into the fundamental and instinctual differences between men and women. It describes how we think and react differently in relationships. She also is very specific about how our unique (and outdated) survival instincts get in the way of having happy relationships. It was VERY eye opening for me to hear lots of things that I've never been aware of before...it really explained a lot of my totally unconscious behaviors. It also helped me to see how my body, instinct and chemistry has been working against my conscious intentions. I don't think I ever realized that I even had instinct influencing my behaviors, in fact, I thought I had complete control of my actions and emotions. Just another thing that I can finally accept at this point since I'm letting go of control...
ANYWAY... if you feel so inclined...this specific set is great for dating and newer relationships, but she has other CDs that can also help people that are in current long term relationships or married. The more we understand each other, the more chance we have to let our human spirit, and therefore our potential happiness, out! We ALL deserve to be completely happy and satisfied in our relationships and we will not have to settle if we simply adjust our thinking about things.
Cheers to spreading information that can help relieve the suffering in dating!!
Dating sense!
Jess
Wednesday, October 30, 2013
Tuesday, October 29, 2013
She can be taught! :-P
I've made a realization....
I've needed to change my financial situation for a while. I've put off making any real effort until the last month or so, and even those efforts were slower and with hesitance and resistance.
I was feeling so lost as to the direction that I should take when pursuing my new financial direction. I first started down the same path that I always travel which is to analyze what I want for SURE and for GOOD. I previously forced myself to make a decision on what job/position I was looking for so that I could then put 100% of my efforts towards successfully getting THAT job (or that KIND of job) and it for some reason had to be for "EVER". As I started to do that, I realized that I had no idea what job would actually make me happy and be the best opportunity for me. For this reason, I've had trouble making the decision to pursue any job at all. Requiring myself to only trust in myself and never trust in God assisting in providing what is best, made for a very difficult and stressful road to acquiring money and abundance.
Accepting that I am not alone, and that I can only follow my intuition as best as I can, made me very uncomfortable. I started by begrudgingly revamping my resume and focusing on my experience, skills, and the position in my past that I enjoyed the most. As I was getting things together, a friend offered a referral to an open position. I'm not sure of the position itself (if it's exactly right for me) but I am very open and thankful that the opportunity has come my way. I'm trusting that following these types of gifts is maintaining an open and receptive attitude towards what's being effortlessly brought to me.
Last night I made the effort to apply for the referred position. Today I went to apply for a position at the job in my past that was the most enjoyable. This evening, I had a "charitable" theta session scheduled and it turned into the purchase of a package! This helped me to see that by me exerting energetic effort to bring in more financial abundance with my first two attempts, and being truly open to how abundance will eventually be delivered, I put in my order with the Universe. I received my abundance for today, not from the places that would have been expected, but from where I did not expect it at all!
We have to make an energetic effort to help ourselves and decide what we want (in this case money), and then the Universe really does conspire to make it happen. As long as we are truly unattached to the outcome of our efforts and open to the many different ways that you can receive what you are requesting, that effort is rewarded.
Seems like a very simple concept, but it was so difficult for me to learn because I was used to doing everything myself. I'm so thankful that these tough few weeks have come out on the other side. It seemed like I was going deeper and darker, only to show me how much different I am and how much I have actually learned already. I know now that as long as I Continue to make efforts to change my financial situation, I will always be rewarded. Quite an eye opener.... I'm starting to slowly but surely relax :-)
Sense of Relief
Jess
I've needed to change my financial situation for a while. I've put off making any real effort until the last month or so, and even those efforts were slower and with hesitance and resistance.
I was feeling so lost as to the direction that I should take when pursuing my new financial direction. I first started down the same path that I always travel which is to analyze what I want for SURE and for GOOD. I previously forced myself to make a decision on what job/position I was looking for so that I could then put 100% of my efforts towards successfully getting THAT job (or that KIND of job) and it for some reason had to be for "EVER". As I started to do that, I realized that I had no idea what job would actually make me happy and be the best opportunity for me. For this reason, I've had trouble making the decision to pursue any job at all. Requiring myself to only trust in myself and never trust in God assisting in providing what is best, made for a very difficult and stressful road to acquiring money and abundance.
Accepting that I am not alone, and that I can only follow my intuition as best as I can, made me very uncomfortable. I started by begrudgingly revamping my resume and focusing on my experience, skills, and the position in my past that I enjoyed the most. As I was getting things together, a friend offered a referral to an open position. I'm not sure of the position itself (if it's exactly right for me) but I am very open and thankful that the opportunity has come my way. I'm trusting that following these types of gifts is maintaining an open and receptive attitude towards what's being effortlessly brought to me.
Last night I made the effort to apply for the referred position. Today I went to apply for a position at the job in my past that was the most enjoyable. This evening, I had a "charitable" theta session scheduled and it turned into the purchase of a package! This helped me to see that by me exerting energetic effort to bring in more financial abundance with my first two attempts, and being truly open to how abundance will eventually be delivered, I put in my order with the Universe. I received my abundance for today, not from the places that would have been expected, but from where I did not expect it at all!
We have to make an energetic effort to help ourselves and decide what we want (in this case money), and then the Universe really does conspire to make it happen. As long as we are truly unattached to the outcome of our efforts and open to the many different ways that you can receive what you are requesting, that effort is rewarded.
Seems like a very simple concept, but it was so difficult for me to learn because I was used to doing everything myself. I'm so thankful that these tough few weeks have come out on the other side. It seemed like I was going deeper and darker, only to show me how much different I am and how much I have actually learned already. I know now that as long as I Continue to make efforts to change my financial situation, I will always be rewarded. Quite an eye opener.... I'm starting to slowly but surely relax :-)
Sense of Relief
Jess
Saturday, October 26, 2013
Help comes in the most unexpected ways...
Wow.... This week I've worked on my beliefs about being open to receiving HELP (among lots of other things), which I apparently didn't believe was real. After my accident the other day, I felt like I got the opposite of help, but was thankful that it wasn't worse. All of my stress was really making me feel unsupported, sad, frustrated and pretty alone. I knew there was a message in it, I was just at a loss for what that message could possibly be...until now.
The Universe is absolutely looking after me! I'm feeling an amazing amount of appreciation and gratitude right now.
Yesterday, I got some very unexpected help from a friend. In my initial attempts to resist the help because it felt like a foreign thing to me, all I was met with were the repetitive words of "Let me Help you"... I knew that was the Universe snapping me out of my old pattern. This person helped me to feel safe and at the same time released my financial burden. The energy behind his gift was from no other place then genuine concern and the desire to help me through my tough time (in the past, because of my beliefs, I've always seen ulterior motives). I cannot explain how much his act made me feel so much love and support. I woke up in the morning feeling stressed with tears of fear and sadness, and I went to bed feeling so relieved with tears of thankfulness.
In my past I probably wouldn't have accepted this help, and maybe my energy would have stopped the offer before it even came my way. I'm now realizing that this happened to show me that I've broken a pattern, that my beliefs are absolutely different, and that I AM loved, supported and taken care of by the Universe. I HAVE transformed from the inside and Everything is going to be just fine... :-)
Thank you my dear friend for all you've done, words can't express how much it means to me!!
It now makes Sense,
Jess
The Universe is absolutely looking after me! I'm feeling an amazing amount of appreciation and gratitude right now.
Yesterday, I got some very unexpected help from a friend. In my initial attempts to resist the help because it felt like a foreign thing to me, all I was met with were the repetitive words of "Let me Help you"... I knew that was the Universe snapping me out of my old pattern. This person helped me to feel safe and at the same time released my financial burden. The energy behind his gift was from no other place then genuine concern and the desire to help me through my tough time (in the past, because of my beliefs, I've always seen ulterior motives). I cannot explain how much his act made me feel so much love and support. I woke up in the morning feeling stressed with tears of fear and sadness, and I went to bed feeling so relieved with tears of thankfulness.
In my past I probably wouldn't have accepted this help, and maybe my energy would have stopped the offer before it even came my way. I'm now realizing that this happened to show me that I've broken a pattern, that my beliefs are absolutely different, and that I AM loved, supported and taken care of by the Universe. I HAVE transformed from the inside and Everything is going to be just fine... :-)
Thank you my dear friend for all you've done, words can't express how much it means to me!!
It now makes Sense,
Jess
Thursday, October 24, 2013
Car accident :-(
Today I watched a guy in a big white truck decide to stop last minute and do a U-turn...meanwhile the girl behind him slammed on her brakes, as did I behind her....he moved just in time and I couldn't avoid her!
Ugh!! Mr. A-hole couldn't make the turn cause his truck was too big, so he reversed, looked at the accident that he'd just caused, and drove away....
Other girl is okay, I'm fine...neck slightly sore, cars are kinda messed up but both drivable...
Besides that...stressed...sad...confused...humbled...apparently with more to learn than I thought! The last time something like this happened to me (and my car) was not too long ago actually. A bit longer than a year ago to be exact and I had backed into a parked truck with it's tailgate down...didn't see the tailgate...enough said. So I was thinking...what exactly is my car representing to me? What's the commonality in my situation?
Last year when it happened I had just quit teaching because I had adrenal fatigue and had NO IDEA what the heck I was going to do for money and everything else... I was stressed about "moving forward" because I didn't have a direction in which to go. (Also may I add that during this time I had to replace my power steering pump, two of my tires, and pay for a speeding ticket.) I did a lot of soul searching, decided on Theta healing, and after that decision was made, I had no more problems with my car! Hmmm.....
Well, let's just say that history is repeating itself a bit because yoga pays me minimally, Theta has not been quite paying the bills yet, and I'm once again in the situation of wondering what I'm going to do for money and everything else... I had decided about 4 days ago that I'm going to search for a full time job to pay the bills and continue to do Theta on the side for now. Problem is I don't know what kind of job I want and I'm a little resistant to move toward that because of my past experiences with working for "companies"...I've been working on clearing these things over the past couple days but APPARENTLY there's more!!
Wish me luck (and luck for my poor car in the meantime)... and if you know of a job, I'll take that too ;-)
Making sense of it
Jess
Ugh!! Mr. A-hole couldn't make the turn cause his truck was too big, so he reversed, looked at the accident that he'd just caused, and drove away....
Other girl is okay, I'm fine...neck slightly sore, cars are kinda messed up but both drivable...
Besides that...stressed...sad...confused...humbled...apparently with more to learn than I thought! The last time something like this happened to me (and my car) was not too long ago actually. A bit longer than a year ago to be exact and I had backed into a parked truck with it's tailgate down...didn't see the tailgate...enough said. So I was thinking...what exactly is my car representing to me? What's the commonality in my situation?
Last year when it happened I had just quit teaching because I had adrenal fatigue and had NO IDEA what the heck I was going to do for money and everything else... I was stressed about "moving forward" because I didn't have a direction in which to go. (Also may I add that during this time I had to replace my power steering pump, two of my tires, and pay for a speeding ticket.) I did a lot of soul searching, decided on Theta healing, and after that decision was made, I had no more problems with my car! Hmmm.....
Well, let's just say that history is repeating itself a bit because yoga pays me minimally, Theta has not been quite paying the bills yet, and I'm once again in the situation of wondering what I'm going to do for money and everything else... I had decided about 4 days ago that I'm going to search for a full time job to pay the bills and continue to do Theta on the side for now. Problem is I don't know what kind of job I want and I'm a little resistant to move toward that because of my past experiences with working for "companies"...I've been working on clearing these things over the past couple days but APPARENTLY there's more!!
Wish me luck (and luck for my poor car in the meantime)... and if you know of a job, I'll take that too ;-)
Making sense of it
Jess
Wednesday, October 23, 2013
Exhausted but worth it
Working through my issues can be exhausting!!
I've been on a week and a half long roller coaster ride of emotions, ego resistance, tantrums, and over-reactions. There's been lots of tears, bursts of rage, and some unmatched feelings of fear. Don't get me wrong, it's ALL been good in the end, and very beneficial, but I'll still admit it's quite overwhelming when things are coming to the surface! I've been able to clear SOOOO many deep dark dirty beliefs that my soul acquired a long time ago, and some not so long ago.
I realize how hard my Ego has worked to keep all of these things hidden so that I can live a "normal life", but now I'm fully embracing that I'm letting my Ego off the hook. I want to face them, I want to clear them, and I want to be truly happy from my heart and Soul!
The reason I used to fight uncovering all of this stuff so strongly is NOT because I didn't always want this ...it's because I was afraid that I wouldn't be able to deal with my beliefs when I uncovered them. FEAR enabled my Ego to latch onto ideas that were not even remotely truth to protect me from seeing where I was disappointed or unhappy. My Ego thought it was making me stronger...but my strength is actually coming to me NOW in realizing MY truth!
In honor of that realization, I thank you, my dear Ego, for your help, but I want you to know that I don't need you to cover for me any longer. I'm asking that you work with me to achieve my Soul's desires, without fear of failure. I don't have to be successful or even happy all the time...I just have to let go of the fear and BE.
For THIS, I'm willing to keep digging deeper...bring it up, bring it out, and bring it on!!
haha...and now I feel like laughing and crying at the same time...what a ride!!!
Senseless fear..
Jess
I've been on a week and a half long roller coaster ride of emotions, ego resistance, tantrums, and over-reactions. There's been lots of tears, bursts of rage, and some unmatched feelings of fear. Don't get me wrong, it's ALL been good in the end, and very beneficial, but I'll still admit it's quite overwhelming when things are coming to the surface! I've been able to clear SOOOO many deep dark dirty beliefs that my soul acquired a long time ago, and some not so long ago.
I realize how hard my Ego has worked to keep all of these things hidden so that I can live a "normal life", but now I'm fully embracing that I'm letting my Ego off the hook. I want to face them, I want to clear them, and I want to be truly happy from my heart and Soul!
The reason I used to fight uncovering all of this stuff so strongly is NOT because I didn't always want this ...it's because I was afraid that I wouldn't be able to deal with my beliefs when I uncovered them. FEAR enabled my Ego to latch onto ideas that were not even remotely truth to protect me from seeing where I was disappointed or unhappy. My Ego thought it was making me stronger...but my strength is actually coming to me NOW in realizing MY truth!
In honor of that realization, I thank you, my dear Ego, for your help, but I want you to know that I don't need you to cover for me any longer. I'm asking that you work with me to achieve my Soul's desires, without fear of failure. I don't have to be successful or even happy all the time...I just have to let go of the fear and BE.
For THIS, I'm willing to keep digging deeper...bring it up, bring it out, and bring it on!!
haha...and now I feel like laughing and crying at the same time...what a ride!!!
Senseless fear..
Jess
Tuesday, October 22, 2013
To my fellow control freaks out there...
CONTROL is not real.... you may be resisting this statement right now. (Trust me I understand...I was a HUGE control freak myself :-D)
Repeat that to yourself again....CONTROL is NOT REAL!
You may be coming up with a hundred things that you THINK you control right now.
I work hard and that's why I'm successful. I'm safe because I lock my doors at night. If I drive with my hands at 10 and 2 then I'll get where I'm going without getting in an accident.
All those thoughts of "If This, THEN that..." are attempts to control.
You may have systems or formulas for doing everything the "Best Way".
"It's more efficient."
"It's the right way."
"Other people have proven this is the method, and I should follow it if I want to get what they have."
It may come into your head like "I HAVE/NEED to do this, if I want to be successful, or respected, or loved"
Now, you're probably coming up with all the reasons why you like all of the things you "control"...
"I just feel more comfortable when I do it that way."
"I can't imagine not doing things the way that I do."
"I like my routine"
"Why fix it if it ain't broke? Right!!"
"I like the way I do things"
Or maybe your ego might come from the other side...
"If I don't do this, then <insert something bad that will happen>
How about this... "If I can figure out what that other person is thinking, then I can control how they react by saying or doing <insert whatever it is you think will convince that person to do what you want>
You may have no idea how much "controlling" you do all day long.
You may not have as many "control issues" as I had, but if any of the statements above resonate or sound familiar to you, then you're using control as a way to avoid feeling FEAR.
What I didn't realize before is that all of my attempts to control and make me feel better, actually ended up CONTROLLING ME! They became things I HAD to do, and I would feel extremely uncomfortable if I didn't try to control it. It made me stuck in my own head analyzing, problem solving, figuring out, anticipating, thinking ahead, planning, and out-witting! If I thought enough ahead, I could control what was coming....orrrrr NOT AT ALL!
It didn't matter how well I planned and anticipated, if it wasn't meant to be then something outside my control (and there's always something outside my control) would happen to change things. The most upsetting thing is that, for that moment, when I realized my plan failed and I didn't anticipate every possibility, it became clear that all my effort to control had been once again for nothing. It was disheartening. It made me so resistant to change because I put so much energy into forcing things to be the way I wanted. But again, control and the ego are tricky... somehow I always managed to reset, reanalyze, reassess, and start controlling again.
"It's going to work this time because I'm smarter and NOW I see the whole picture!"
Oh yes...tricky tricky... this is how things become patterns. We constantly repeat the same patterns, trying to force things that we want, always ending in the same disappointment. Now THAT is actually the definition of insanity, not control...
I'm amazingly thankful to Theta for helping me clear my head of this constant chatter and pressure, but you don't Need Theta. The first step is becoming aware of your thoughts, acknowledging them as a problem, actually SEEING that your control doesn't exist, and finally, choosing to change first the behaviors and then the thoughts will change as well! I'll warn you, this process is long...but more than worth it!! Theta just happens to help that change occur instantly. :-)
There's hope for you my dear control freak of a friend...
Control has NO SENSE
Jess
Repeat that to yourself again....CONTROL is NOT REAL!
You may be coming up with a hundred things that you THINK you control right now.
I work hard and that's why I'm successful. I'm safe because I lock my doors at night. If I drive with my hands at 10 and 2 then I'll get where I'm going without getting in an accident.
All those thoughts of "If This, THEN that..." are attempts to control.
You may have systems or formulas for doing everything the "Best Way".
"It's more efficient."
"It's the right way."
"Other people have proven this is the method, and I should follow it if I want to get what they have."
It may come into your head like "I HAVE/NEED to do this, if I want to be successful, or respected, or loved"
Now, you're probably coming up with all the reasons why you like all of the things you "control"...
"I just feel more comfortable when I do it that way."
"I can't imagine not doing things the way that I do."
"I like my routine"
"Why fix it if it ain't broke? Right!!"
"I like the way I do things"
Or maybe your ego might come from the other side...
"If I don't do this, then <insert something bad that will happen>
How about this... "If I can figure out what that other person is thinking, then I can control how they react by saying or doing <insert whatever it is you think will convince that person to do what you want>
You may have no idea how much "controlling" you do all day long.
You may not have as many "control issues" as I had, but if any of the statements above resonate or sound familiar to you, then you're using control as a way to avoid feeling FEAR.
What I didn't realize before is that all of my attempts to control and make me feel better, actually ended up CONTROLLING ME! They became things I HAD to do, and I would feel extremely uncomfortable if I didn't try to control it. It made me stuck in my own head analyzing, problem solving, figuring out, anticipating, thinking ahead, planning, and out-witting! If I thought enough ahead, I could control what was coming....orrrrr NOT AT ALL!
It didn't matter how well I planned and anticipated, if it wasn't meant to be then something outside my control (and there's always something outside my control) would happen to change things. The most upsetting thing is that, for that moment, when I realized my plan failed and I didn't anticipate every possibility, it became clear that all my effort to control had been once again for nothing. It was disheartening. It made me so resistant to change because I put so much energy into forcing things to be the way I wanted. But again, control and the ego are tricky... somehow I always managed to reset, reanalyze, reassess, and start controlling again.
"It's going to work this time because I'm smarter and NOW I see the whole picture!"
Oh yes...tricky tricky... this is how things become patterns. We constantly repeat the same patterns, trying to force things that we want, always ending in the same disappointment. Now THAT is actually the definition of insanity, not control...
I'm amazingly thankful to Theta for helping me clear my head of this constant chatter and pressure, but you don't Need Theta. The first step is becoming aware of your thoughts, acknowledging them as a problem, actually SEEING that your control doesn't exist, and finally, choosing to change first the behaviors and then the thoughts will change as well! I'll warn you, this process is long...but more than worth it!! Theta just happens to help that change occur instantly. :-)
There's hope for you my dear control freak of a friend...
Control has NO SENSE
Jess
Sunday, October 20, 2013
Me time
This my sweet Daisy Doo demonstrating how I feel tonight....sometimes a picture says a thousand words!!
If I cover my eyes...maybe she won't see me?!
Ah, my eyes!!
Bright light, bright light!
I'm soooo sleepy..... Here's to everyone getting a good nights sleep and having a wonderful week ahead!
Night night......zzzzzzzz
Fluffy sense!
:-) Jess
Wednesday, October 16, 2013
Love is...
After last nights post, I had some interesting thoughts come up. It seems very random but it brought to the surface the right and wrong about doing things...I used Theta to clear a bunch of beliefs about my definition of being and doing wrong and I felt a whole lot better.
Interestingly, Today I realized that I had probably thousands of "ideas" about what LOVE actually is...and even last night I had no idea that this was the case.
I had a definition of do's and don'ts for correctly loving someone. Love is being nice. Love isn't being mean. Love is protecting someone's feelings. Love isn't being selfish. And on and on and on..... I had to get rid of my definitions of WRONG for me to see I had these rigid ideas about Love.
Theta helped me to release these ideas and find clarity!
Defining Love puts a HUGE amount of pressure, on myself, but also on my expectations for how I'm supposed to be treated by the person that loves me. Those descriptions were actually limitations on what I can and can't have in my life IF I want love. It made love into something that needs sacrifice in order to have it. This got me to thinking how much we ALL do this to ourselves. We get into relationships and call it love if we Feel like sacrificing ourselves for the other person. The ego part of me liked sacrificing because I was earning the love that had so many requirements of me. I wrote off the heartache with compassion for my partner. Besides that, I measured the love I received based on my definitions of it too. All of those specifications can really limit experiencing love for what it is....
UNCONDITIONAL... UNDEFINED....UNLIMITED.... and FREE.
Here's to my next experience being THIS LOVE...
Love finally makes sense.
Jess
Interestingly, Today I realized that I had probably thousands of "ideas" about what LOVE actually is...and even last night I had no idea that this was the case.
I had a definition of do's and don'ts for correctly loving someone. Love is being nice. Love isn't being mean. Love is protecting someone's feelings. Love isn't being selfish. And on and on and on..... I had to get rid of my definitions of WRONG for me to see I had these rigid ideas about Love.
Theta helped me to release these ideas and find clarity!
Defining Love puts a HUGE amount of pressure, on myself, but also on my expectations for how I'm supposed to be treated by the person that loves me. Those descriptions were actually limitations on what I can and can't have in my life IF I want love. It made love into something that needs sacrifice in order to have it. This got me to thinking how much we ALL do this to ourselves. We get into relationships and call it love if we Feel like sacrificing ourselves for the other person. The ego part of me liked sacrificing because I was earning the love that had so many requirements of me. I wrote off the heartache with compassion for my partner. Besides that, I measured the love I received based on my definitions of it too. All of those specifications can really limit experiencing love for what it is....
UNCONDITIONAL... UNDEFINED....UNLIMITED.... and FREE.
Here's to my next experience being THIS LOVE...
Love finally makes sense.
Jess
Tuesday, October 15, 2013
Soul mates.....
I'm pondering about relationships and soul mates.
I've had a relationship with a soul mate before. It was instantly familiar (once we actually paid attention to each other) but not instant attraction. It felt safe and was so easy to go with the flow. It was the first time I felt like I could just be me and pursue what made me happy. A relationship without expectation or pressures where I was treated with love, appreciation and affection. I also opened my heart and truly loved without trying to change him and that was a first for me. I think his experience of it might have been different, but it helped me see that relationships reflect TO us what we give to it. It also helped me see that soul mate relationships are not always the easiest. They are specifically designed for bringing up issues, and when they come up we can choose to work through them or not. I think depending on how much the two people are growing together will determine how long the relationship is supposed to last. On some level I always knew this soul mate relationship was temporary, and was alright when it ended. I came out of it a much better, happier, more determined person.
I've met someone else now that has strongly grabbed my attention, but I'll admit it's completely different! I don't yet know this man very well, but every time we interact I can't help but WANT to know him. I feel drawn towards him and am attracted like I've never felt before. I've never been the pursuing type but this one definitely makes me consider putting myself out there. I recognize certain characteristics in him that are very much like my own. I recognize his energy, but it's strange because I don't really know him. I have a curiosity and a feeling like he has so much life and experience to add to mine. Someone that can be the one to help me as much as I can help him! It is really making me HAVE to trust my intuition as well as Divine timing a lot and it's really hard! I feel and then I doubt that I can "know" what I know, when I don't really know. Our brief interactions, strangely, bring out my insecurities while at the same time making me feel amazing about myself. He's sometimes aloof (well all the time with everyone else) and then he opens up to me or touches me and smiles and I get glimpse of him...crazy....silly....awesome...crush!! But soul mate?
My intuition tells me YES, and I'm going with that....Wish me patience because if he's my soul mate, I won't need luck! :-)
Making sense of soul mates!
Jess
I've had a relationship with a soul mate before. It was instantly familiar (once we actually paid attention to each other) but not instant attraction. It felt safe and was so easy to go with the flow. It was the first time I felt like I could just be me and pursue what made me happy. A relationship without expectation or pressures where I was treated with love, appreciation and affection. I also opened my heart and truly loved without trying to change him and that was a first for me. I think his experience of it might have been different, but it helped me see that relationships reflect TO us what we give to it. It also helped me see that soul mate relationships are not always the easiest. They are specifically designed for bringing up issues, and when they come up we can choose to work through them or not. I think depending on how much the two people are growing together will determine how long the relationship is supposed to last. On some level I always knew this soul mate relationship was temporary, and was alright when it ended. I came out of it a much better, happier, more determined person.
I've met someone else now that has strongly grabbed my attention, but I'll admit it's completely different! I don't yet know this man very well, but every time we interact I can't help but WANT to know him. I feel drawn towards him and am attracted like I've never felt before. I've never been the pursuing type but this one definitely makes me consider putting myself out there. I recognize certain characteristics in him that are very much like my own. I recognize his energy, but it's strange because I don't really know him. I have a curiosity and a feeling like he has so much life and experience to add to mine. Someone that can be the one to help me as much as I can help him! It is really making me HAVE to trust my intuition as well as Divine timing a lot and it's really hard! I feel and then I doubt that I can "know" what I know, when I don't really know. Our brief interactions, strangely, bring out my insecurities while at the same time making me feel amazing about myself. He's sometimes aloof (well all the time with everyone else) and then he opens up to me or touches me and smiles and I get glimpse of him...crazy....silly....awesome...crush!! But soul mate?
My intuition tells me YES, and I'm going with that....Wish me patience because if he's my soul mate, I won't need luck! :-)
Making sense of soul mates!
Jess
Monday, October 14, 2013
I've found relief.
This day started off rough, progressed to better, and ended with an amazing realization. I've heard it, said it, even thought I believed it many many times in the last few years before, but I think I didn't truly understand it until today...
My purpose in this life is simply to BE ME
In saying that, I mean without judgement or expectation, having to earn, work for, help others, not hurt others, do good, do no wrong, use my gifts, be successful, have a family, have a career, be spiritual, be religious, grow, learn, find love, have friends, impress others, gain respect, be perfect, be right, be smart, know better, know more, be economical, be environmental, or DO/BE/ACCOMPLISH anything for that matter!!!
I can CHOOSE to do any of those things. It's the moment I take on the idea that I'm expected to do anything in particular, is the moment I then choose to no longer be me. Life is about fun, play, joy, happiness, peace, calm, love and experience...and most importantly releasing ALL RESISTANCE to those things.
So then the question isn't who AM I? I'm me...the question is what makes me FEEL like me? What things resonate with me and make me feel like I'd be a little "less me" if they weren't in my life. From now on I choose to BE as honest as possible with myself about what these things are. :-)
Life makes sense...finally!
Jess
My purpose in this life is simply to BE ME
In saying that, I mean without judgement or expectation, having to earn, work for, help others, not hurt others, do good, do no wrong, use my gifts, be successful, have a family, have a career, be spiritual, be religious, grow, learn, find love, have friends, impress others, gain respect, be perfect, be right, be smart, know better, know more, be economical, be environmental, or DO/BE/ACCOMPLISH anything for that matter!!!
I can CHOOSE to do any of those things. It's the moment I take on the idea that I'm expected to do anything in particular, is the moment I then choose to no longer be me. Life is about fun, play, joy, happiness, peace, calm, love and experience...and most importantly releasing ALL RESISTANCE to those things.
So then the question isn't who AM I? I'm me...the question is what makes me FEEL like me? What things resonate with me and make me feel like I'd be a little "less me" if they weren't in my life. From now on I choose to BE as honest as possible with myself about what these things are. :-)
Life makes sense...finally!
Jess
Wednesday, October 9, 2013
Confession
I am a Bikram Yoga Teacher, who hasn't been practicing yoga for like a year now.... it's really weird to teach something that you haven't been doing yourself. I've gotten like one class a month in for a while now, but that is in no means a regular practice. And I'll admit, my body is feeling it! How does this happen you may ask...
After I went to teacher training, I came back and started teaching yoga full time, which is 10-12 classes per week. I was also practicing yoga about 4 times per week. For those of you who don't know what Bikram Yoga is, it's the original hot yoga, and we do a 90 minute class in a 105 degree room at around 40% humidity. So every time I was in the room, I was sweating a lot! By this I mean dripping constantly for 90 minutes! After about a year of sweating that much around 20 plus hours per week, my body started to give out on me. I was having all kinds of horrible symptoms everyday and I admit it was getting hard to get out of bed in the morning. I'd never felt that way in my life before! I knew it was due to the constant sweating that I was doing, so I decided to cut out practicing, decrease my class load, and when that didn't work, I quit all together. Ugh!
I was out of the studio for two and a half months, and it was actually a friend's emergency that got me to get back into it. After teaching a few for him, I realized how much I missed teaching. I love bringing that peace and health to people every time I go into the yoga room. I was still a bit scared of the sweating, so I limited myself to 2 classes a week...last spring I increased it to 4 classes and I feel great. As for my own practice, I still had that fear resistance to it. Due to my experience last year, I had formed a bunch of beliefs around why Bikram yoga was dangerous for me. My ego/beliefs were trying to protect me from my own previous inability to listen to my own body by blaming it on the yoga itself. It was not the yoga that was hurting me, it was the fact that I didn't listen when my body said STOP! I cleared the beliefs which made me feel soooo much better, but still wasn't quite motivated over the summer (my guess is because of the heat in TX)!
As the temperatures outside have cooled down over the last week, I've gotten such a strong drive to get in the room! I took class this morning and was SOOOO happy! My body is happy, my mind is happy, and my spirit knows that it's time to get back into the hot room. I'm meeting friends to take class tomorrow too! It's my goal to practice at least 2-3 times per week again to get my body functioning more efficiently again. This is pretty cool for me to experience myself because it's actually something that I tell my students at times. When a student expresses that they feel like they need a break, I usually tell them to take it, and that they'll come back when they're ready. I've seen my students do it, and now I feel with all my heart that it is true. It's the guilt, responsibilities, finances and expectations that make the choices for us that go against our feelings and intuition. If we listen to our own intuition and body, it will tell us exactly what we need to do and when we need to do it.
Yoga sense :-)
Jess
After I went to teacher training, I came back and started teaching yoga full time, which is 10-12 classes per week. I was also practicing yoga about 4 times per week. For those of you who don't know what Bikram Yoga is, it's the original hot yoga, and we do a 90 minute class in a 105 degree room at around 40% humidity. So every time I was in the room, I was sweating a lot! By this I mean dripping constantly for 90 minutes! After about a year of sweating that much around 20 plus hours per week, my body started to give out on me. I was having all kinds of horrible symptoms everyday and I admit it was getting hard to get out of bed in the morning. I'd never felt that way in my life before! I knew it was due to the constant sweating that I was doing, so I decided to cut out practicing, decrease my class load, and when that didn't work, I quit all together. Ugh!
I was out of the studio for two and a half months, and it was actually a friend's emergency that got me to get back into it. After teaching a few for him, I realized how much I missed teaching. I love bringing that peace and health to people every time I go into the yoga room. I was still a bit scared of the sweating, so I limited myself to 2 classes a week...last spring I increased it to 4 classes and I feel great. As for my own practice, I still had that fear resistance to it. Due to my experience last year, I had formed a bunch of beliefs around why Bikram yoga was dangerous for me. My ego/beliefs were trying to protect me from my own previous inability to listen to my own body by blaming it on the yoga itself. It was not the yoga that was hurting me, it was the fact that I didn't listen when my body said STOP! I cleared the beliefs which made me feel soooo much better, but still wasn't quite motivated over the summer (my guess is because of the heat in TX)!
As the temperatures outside have cooled down over the last week, I've gotten such a strong drive to get in the room! I took class this morning and was SOOOO happy! My body is happy, my mind is happy, and my spirit knows that it's time to get back into the hot room. I'm meeting friends to take class tomorrow too! It's my goal to practice at least 2-3 times per week again to get my body functioning more efficiently again. This is pretty cool for me to experience myself because it's actually something that I tell my students at times. When a student expresses that they feel like they need a break, I usually tell them to take it, and that they'll come back when they're ready. I've seen my students do it, and now I feel with all my heart that it is true. It's the guilt, responsibilities, finances and expectations that make the choices for us that go against our feelings and intuition. If we listen to our own intuition and body, it will tell us exactly what we need to do and when we need to do it.
Yoga sense :-)
Jess
Tuesday, October 8, 2013
Wanting something TOO much can be what keeps it from you
Lesson I've learned (and continue to learn everyday)...
If we hold onto the things we desire too tightly, energetically, it's because we fear they won't happen...
Fear is a very low vibrational energy. What we fear, we can unfortunately create in our lives. The Universe hears our thoughts like orders we're making at a drive thru. It doesn't judge whether those requests are good or bad, it just delivers what we've ordered.
Loosen the grip on what you want/how you want it, and allow the Universe to bring all you've ever wanted to you and maybe even more than you imagined. Appreciate what you have in the present to make your "order" for the future. Appreciation is the highest vibrational energy. Not only will this bring happiness in the future, but it will bring happiness NOW! After all...Now is all there officially is so CHOOSE to be happy now...
What is something you can do today to bring a little peace and happiness to you? To bring a smile to your face? Treat yourself to something pampering, appreciate your life, love someone, be proud of yourself, be healthy, get good sleep, forgive someone, whatever it is you choose, do it with your complete attention and FEEL how that action/thought/deed affects you. Hold onto that feeling and appreciate it. You're on your way to recreating many more moments for which you'll be grateful.
Good sense!!
<3 Jess
If we hold onto the things we desire too tightly, energetically, it's because we fear they won't happen...
Fear is a very low vibrational energy. What we fear, we can unfortunately create in our lives. The Universe hears our thoughts like orders we're making at a drive thru. It doesn't judge whether those requests are good or bad, it just delivers what we've ordered.
Loosen the grip on what you want/how you want it, and allow the Universe to bring all you've ever wanted to you and maybe even more than you imagined. Appreciate what you have in the present to make your "order" for the future. Appreciation is the highest vibrational energy. Not only will this bring happiness in the future, but it will bring happiness NOW! After all...Now is all there officially is so CHOOSE to be happy now...
What is something you can do today to bring a little peace and happiness to you? To bring a smile to your face? Treat yourself to something pampering, appreciate your life, love someone, be proud of yourself, be healthy, get good sleep, forgive someone, whatever it is you choose, do it with your complete attention and FEEL how that action/thought/deed affects you. Hold onto that feeling and appreciate it. You're on your way to recreating many more moments for which you'll be grateful.
Good sense!!
<3 Jess
Monday, October 7, 2013
Ahhhh....Life!
Hmmm....I have an interesting feeling....I feel like I want to BLOG!
I don't even know what I have to say, but I feel like if I keep typing then something is going to come out. I tried to do another blog before but it was always a chore to write something... I felt like I had to say something profound or amazingly meaningful in order to get people interested. I'm actually beginning to realize that this blog isn't about other people. It's also not really about how many people read it either. This is about me, living my life and expressing myself. I feel really good about all the things that I've learned so far and I know that I'm only going to grow more each and every day! I've let go of all regret for past decisions because I know they've gotten me to where I am now. I'm happier and healthier because of my choices to make CHANGES when things weren't working. I'm a Cancer. Not sure how many of you are into astrology, but Cancer's are notoriously resistant to change! We dig roots and we hold on for dear life. I felt that growing up so strongly, but as uncomfortable as it was to accept, my family had quite a few changes. I think they forced me to see that sometimes, change is not only good, but NECESSARY to pursue your happiness. I saw my parents make good and bad choices for themselves and how it affected them both. I also saw how miserable they got when they refused to make those changes. I guess that's why, at times, when I started to feel trapped and unhappy, I made changes...sometimes good ones and sometimes not so good ones, but those definitely taught me lessons.
My Motto: If at first you don't succeed, try again...I may have seemed like I had no idea what I was doing, and sometimes I didn't, but I never regretted moving forward. Sometimes I misdirected my energy and changed the wrong thing, but I was always guided back to the real problem. When I felt stuck, I got depressed, angry, frustrated, and felt like a victim in my life. When I made NEW choices, not repeating the same choice in a different way, but truly turning in the opposite direction, is when I found peace. I could be free. I could make mistakes because I could change my mind. Every experience is to get us somewhere different then we are right at this moment. Some moments have been easy and amazing, others have been extremely difficult, but they've helped me to figure out what I WANT in this life and what I don't. If I didn't have the "negative" experiences, then I wouldn't be able to say with clarity that I don't want that in my life! I welcome my daily experiences with open arms....if something bothers me, I ask why? If I can change my belief or my perception to see the situation differently, then I will...sometimes changing that belief or perception requires me to change my life situation as well. All change is good. It helped me to get rid of the attachment that I had to so much "stuff" that really wasn't important. The more I clung to things and ideas, the longer I let them control my life, the more they became something that held me down and made me feel stuck. At some point, I think over the past 3 years or so, I figured out that life really is an adventure!
I now look forward to feeling the downs as well as the ups as fully and completely as possible because they make me see my Soul. I believe this life is just one experience that my Soul is having...THIS is the playground...this life is what I make it, what I choose to see and experience. It's not about getting from birth to death in the safest and most responsible way. My experience has taught me the opposite; it's the risks I've taken that teach me the most and give me the most pride in myself. I love my life and I would not change a single moment of it. My goal is to pay attention, each day, to see what gifts and guidance I'm receiving. It's the little things... being tired and teaching a yoga class where my students inspire me with their strength...having a patio lunch with a dear fellow yoga teacher on a perfectly gorgeous weather day...not looking forward to a theta session, not knowing where to go with it, and trusting my intuition so much even when I had no idea why I was saying what I was saying, only to have it turn out exactly the way it needed to, teaching us BOTH positive lessons...This day was great and I hope that you too see the little things that shaped your world today.
Wow...I guess something really did come out...I'm going with it ;-)
That's my sense,
Jess <3
I don't even know what I have to say, but I feel like if I keep typing then something is going to come out. I tried to do another blog before but it was always a chore to write something... I felt like I had to say something profound or amazingly meaningful in order to get people interested. I'm actually beginning to realize that this blog isn't about other people. It's also not really about how many people read it either. This is about me, living my life and expressing myself. I feel really good about all the things that I've learned so far and I know that I'm only going to grow more each and every day! I've let go of all regret for past decisions because I know they've gotten me to where I am now. I'm happier and healthier because of my choices to make CHANGES when things weren't working. I'm a Cancer. Not sure how many of you are into astrology, but Cancer's are notoriously resistant to change! We dig roots and we hold on for dear life. I felt that growing up so strongly, but as uncomfortable as it was to accept, my family had quite a few changes. I think they forced me to see that sometimes, change is not only good, but NECESSARY to pursue your happiness. I saw my parents make good and bad choices for themselves and how it affected them both. I also saw how miserable they got when they refused to make those changes. I guess that's why, at times, when I started to feel trapped and unhappy, I made changes...sometimes good ones and sometimes not so good ones, but those definitely taught me lessons.
My Motto: If at first you don't succeed, try again...I may have seemed like I had no idea what I was doing, and sometimes I didn't, but I never regretted moving forward. Sometimes I misdirected my energy and changed the wrong thing, but I was always guided back to the real problem. When I felt stuck, I got depressed, angry, frustrated, and felt like a victim in my life. When I made NEW choices, not repeating the same choice in a different way, but truly turning in the opposite direction, is when I found peace. I could be free. I could make mistakes because I could change my mind. Every experience is to get us somewhere different then we are right at this moment. Some moments have been easy and amazing, others have been extremely difficult, but they've helped me to figure out what I WANT in this life and what I don't. If I didn't have the "negative" experiences, then I wouldn't be able to say with clarity that I don't want that in my life! I welcome my daily experiences with open arms....if something bothers me, I ask why? If I can change my belief or my perception to see the situation differently, then I will...sometimes changing that belief or perception requires me to change my life situation as well. All change is good. It helped me to get rid of the attachment that I had to so much "stuff" that really wasn't important. The more I clung to things and ideas, the longer I let them control my life, the more they became something that held me down and made me feel stuck. At some point, I think over the past 3 years or so, I figured out that life really is an adventure!
I now look forward to feeling the downs as well as the ups as fully and completely as possible because they make me see my Soul. I believe this life is just one experience that my Soul is having...THIS is the playground...this life is what I make it, what I choose to see and experience. It's not about getting from birth to death in the safest and most responsible way. My experience has taught me the opposite; it's the risks I've taken that teach me the most and give me the most pride in myself. I love my life and I would not change a single moment of it. My goal is to pay attention, each day, to see what gifts and guidance I'm receiving. It's the little things... being tired and teaching a yoga class where my students inspire me with their strength...having a patio lunch with a dear fellow yoga teacher on a perfectly gorgeous weather day...not looking forward to a theta session, not knowing where to go with it, and trusting my intuition so much even when I had no idea why I was saying what I was saying, only to have it turn out exactly the way it needed to, teaching us BOTH positive lessons...This day was great and I hope that you too see the little things that shaped your world today.
Wow...I guess something really did come out...I'm going with it ;-)
That's my sense,
Jess <3
Sunday, October 6, 2013
I'm over it!
So this week was kind of an emotionally rocky one for me... I'm in a situation that has recently become very frustrating. I see a place, with which I'm very involved, going in a not such a good direction lately. The people in charge have quite a bit of resistance to change, and change, I believe, is a HUGE necessity in order to turn things around. I feel like I have insight, or at least a good and different opinion to consider, but it has fallen on deaf ears, if it has been heard at all. I don't know about you, but when it's something that I care about, knowing that I can't help because someone or something won't let me, is infuriating! I found myself getting more and more angry because I didn't like their attitude of "I know better", when I felt like they didn't... As I was venting to a friend, a realization all of a sudden smacked me across the face...I ALSO had the belief of "I know better", "I need to know better", "It is my job to know better"! I had to laugh. They were mirroring me to myself, and THAT's why it bothered me as much as it did. Pot calling the kettle black, I'd say!
So normally, even a realization like that still wouldn't help someone too much. It wouldn't immediately take away the emotional charge that I had from my NEED to know better. Before Theta, I'd have to continuously remind myself that it's best for me to let it go, and that I shouldn't worry about it, but that is easier said than done. In my new amazing life with Theta Healing, I can simply go to Creator and ask him to get rid of my need to know better. After I did, a whole week and a half's worth of increasingly frustrating anger just went away! It's hard to explain when after just a moment, the thing that made you feel so angry a second earlier, no longer has any pull on you. It's like I became completely neutral to my situation. I do love being involved there, and doing what I do, and I will continue to do my best. Now, however, even though I know that I still have ideas that the leaders might benefit from, I can easily accept the fact that they're not, and be fine with whatever they decide to do. After all, it affects them way more than me, and we all have our life paths, lessons, experiences that we need to go through...this is part of theirs.
This week is going to be a MUCH better week! I hope that energy transfers to you as well!!
That's my sense ;-)
Jess
So normally, even a realization like that still wouldn't help someone too much. It wouldn't immediately take away the emotional charge that I had from my NEED to know better. Before Theta, I'd have to continuously remind myself that it's best for me to let it go, and that I shouldn't worry about it, but that is easier said than done. In my new amazing life with Theta Healing, I can simply go to Creator and ask him to get rid of my need to know better. After I did, a whole week and a half's worth of increasingly frustrating anger just went away! It's hard to explain when after just a moment, the thing that made you feel so angry a second earlier, no longer has any pull on you. It's like I became completely neutral to my situation. I do love being involved there, and doing what I do, and I will continue to do my best. Now, however, even though I know that I still have ideas that the leaders might benefit from, I can easily accept the fact that they're not, and be fine with whatever they decide to do. After all, it affects them way more than me, and we all have our life paths, lessons, experiences that we need to go through...this is part of theirs.
This week is going to be a MUCH better week! I hope that energy transfers to you as well!!
That's my sense ;-)
Jess
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