Working through my issues can be exhausting!!
I've been on a week and a half long roller coaster ride of emotions, ego resistance, tantrums, and over-reactions. There's been lots of tears, bursts of rage, and some unmatched feelings of fear. Don't get me wrong, it's ALL been good in the end, and very beneficial, but I'll still admit it's quite overwhelming when things are coming to the surface! I've been able to clear SOOOO many deep dark dirty beliefs that my soul acquired a long time ago, and some not so long ago.
I realize how hard my Ego has worked to keep all of these things hidden so that I can live a "normal life", but now I'm fully embracing that I'm letting my Ego off the hook. I want to face them, I want to clear them, and I want to be truly happy from my heart and Soul!
The reason I used to fight uncovering all of this stuff so strongly is NOT because I didn't always want this ...it's because I was afraid that I wouldn't be able to deal with my beliefs when I uncovered them. FEAR enabled my Ego to latch onto ideas that were not even remotely truth to protect me from seeing where I was disappointed or unhappy. My Ego thought it was making me stronger...but my strength is actually coming to me NOW in realizing MY truth!
In honor of that realization, I thank you, my dear Ego, for your help, but I want you to know that I don't need you to cover for me any longer. I'm asking that you work with me to achieve my Soul's desires, without fear of failure. I don't have to be successful or even happy all the time...I just have to let go of the fear and BE.
For THIS, I'm willing to keep digging deeper...bring it up, bring it out, and bring it on!!
haha...and now I feel like laughing and crying at the same time...what a ride!!!
Senseless fear..
Jess
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